“Massive HIPAA and TMI violations” haiku

The joy of waiting
For some “minor” surgery
Signing forms, forms, forms

Who’s running this show?
I’m certainly not in charge
Please! More rules, rules, rules

Forget your comfort
But not your insurance card
Gotta have that, pal

Nurses are so kind
But why do they keep asking,
“How are WE feeling?”

“Don’t know about US,”
I roar, “but I’m just DYING
“To be cut open”

They pull the curtains
As if flimsy cloth protects
The other patients

Nurse hisses, “Maybe
“Anesthesiologist
“Can shut this one up”

“Get the gas passer!
“Let’s get this show on the road!”
I’m the im-patient

“Testicles may bruise,”
Nurse warns. I say, “Make one red,
“One blue. Go Jayhawks!”

Next thing I recall
I awake, a bit lighter;
My wallet, moreso

Have me in stitches
And it kind of hurts to laugh
The bill stills all mirth

Though I must admit
Everything came out all right
Minor after all

P.S. I made up
The part about the yelling.
The KU part’s true.

And a couple from last night, one before the game, one after:

KU v UK
Championship in palindrome
In the Superdome

Proud of our Jayhawks
And congrats to Kentucky
The wildest cats won

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