Rapture (as in feeling fine) haiku, redux

Harold Camping says
He was just 5 months early
World ends tomorrow

So it’s my last chance
To share these haiku from May
When he foresaw doom

From Friday, May 20:

Oakland minister
Says Saturday’s the Big One,
Beginning of end

Harold Camping out
Of his cotton-pickin’ mind
Predicts Judgment Day

Harold Camping out
Past reality’s edge, where
The buffaloed roam

So he was wrong back
In ’94 when he said
This before. So what?

Is he any more
Off than any preacher who
Claims to have THE truth?

Is he any more
Immoral than others who
Sell false certainties?

This geezer’s gonna
Stop our party? Yeah, him and
What Armageddon?

Aren’t these the same folks
Freaked about the deficit?
Explanation, please

The ones who say God
Will protect and save them but
Are armed to the teeth?

Atheists are poised
To rub their noses in it
When Sunday dawns bright

No gloating for me
But if some folks wise up I’ll
Toast their end of daze

End of the world? Nah.
Apocalypse whenever,
I say. Meanwhile, Peace!

Revelation addendum:

On the other hand
If you’re gone and I’m still here
Can I have your car?


Since the original prediction, R.E.M. has broken up. Could THAT be what Harold Camping was picking up vibes from? We’ll never know!

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