The collection of placeholders and zeros on stage for the Republican “debate” last night reminded me of these. I think they came in two groups during April, which is Math Awareness Month.

April, 2011

Math Awareness Month
Guess I could use some of that
Life’s not adding up

Math Awareness Month
If I could subtract my stress
Joy would multiply

Math Awareness Month
Division in our ranks might
Be a good thing now

Math Awareness Month
Used to know this stuff, but now
My brain’s a null set

Math Awareness Month
My checkbook balance beckons
Time to go figure

Math Awareness Month
Budget is fit when I get
My figures in shape

Math Awareness Month
Reminds us that trig jokes are
First sine of madness

Math Awareness Month
Will my kid’s trig instructor
Cosine for a loan?

I dig trig because
Every day I seem to go
Off on a tangent

Math Awareness Month
Makes me admit my haiku
Are derivative

But I wish I had
A good proof to demonstrate
That they’re integral

And pray I can raise
Poetic coefficient
To higher power

Math Awareness Month
Don’t let the geeks fool you they’re
Trying to get sum

Which are the math trees
In the grove of academe?
The ones with square roots

Angling Elvis tells
Pythagoras: You’re so squared
(Baby, I don’t care)

Life is just one big
Variable equation
Solve it day by day