The collection of placeholders and zeros on stage for the Republican “debate” last night reminded me of these. I think they came in two groups during April, which is Math Awareness Month.

**April, 2011**

Math Awareness Month

Guess I could use some of that

Life’s not adding up

Math Awareness Month

If I could subtract my stress

Joy would multiply

Math Awareness Month

Division in our ranks might

Be a good thing now

Math Awareness Month

Used to know this stuff, but now

My brain’s a null set

Math Awareness Month

My checkbook balance beckons

Time to go figure

Math Awareness Month

Budget is fit when I get

My figures in shape

Math Awareness Month

Reminds us that trig jokes are

First sine of madness

Math Awareness Month

Will my kid’s trig instructor

Cosine for a loan?

I dig trig because

Every day I seem to go

Off on a tangent

Math Awareness Month

Makes me admit my haiku

Are derivative

But I wish I had

A good proof to demonstrate

That they’re integral

And pray I can raise

Poetic coefficient

To higher power

Math Awareness Month

Don’t let the geeks fool you they’re

Trying to get sum

Which are the math trees

In the grove of academe?

The ones with square roots

Angling Elvis tells

Pythagoras: You’re so squared

(Baby, I don’t care)

Life is just one big

Variable equation

Solve it day by day

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