“Saints, sinners, survivors” haiku

April 3 birthdays: Doris Day (1922), Jan Berry (1941 — March 26, 2004), Wayne Newton (1942), Billy Joe Royal (1942), Richard Manuel (1943 — March 4, 1986), Richard Thompson (1949)

What a birthday day
Lives echo on — musical,
Magical, tragic

Doris Day was fun
Before she was a virgin
Que sera, sera

Jan Berry wrote, sang,
Produced, rode the wild surf’s waves
With lifelong pal Dean

They seemed like two goofs
But led the TAMI show, played
My favorite surf tunes

Eerily, Jan crashed
His Corvette into a truck
Close to “Dead Man’s Curve”

But he did come back
Never gave up, walked again
Helped others go on

Billy Joe Royal
Wrong-side-of-the tracks classic
“Down in the Boondocks”

(And it just wouldn’t
Have been the same if that
Guitar were in tune)

Wayne Newton, lounge king,
Once won big libel case, told
Jury “Danke Shoen”

Richard Manuel
One of the Band’s great talents
And its troubled soul

A keyboard killer
And lights-out high-note singer
Spelled Levon on drums

But trouble found him
Brought cocaine and Grand Marnier
— Cases of the stuff

“Last Waltz” was more like
“Last Stumble,” though he cleaned up
And made a comeback

But his mentor passed
Richie couldn’t cope, became
The “Fallen Angel”

Richard Thompson — saved
The best for last — his guitar’s
As good as it gets

Six heartstrings, plucked out,
Unrequited, echoing
With what might have been

Walking on a wire?
He’ll show you the way — to fall,
Hit, bounce, and bleed on

“Massive HIPAA and TMI violations” haiku

The joy of waiting
For some “minor” surgery
Signing forms, forms, forms

Who’s running this show?
I’m certainly not in charge
Please! More rules, rules, rules

Forget your comfort
But not your insurance card
Gotta have that, pal

Nurses are so kind
But why do they keep asking,
“How are WE feeling?”

“Don’t know about US,”
I roar, “but I’m just DYING
“To be cut open”

They pull the curtains
As if flimsy cloth protects
The other patients

Nurse hisses, “Maybe
“Anesthesiologist
“Can shut this one up”

“Get the gas passer!
“Let’s get this show on the road!”
I’m the im-patient

“Testicles may bruise,”
Nurse warns. I say, “Make one red,
“One blue. Go Jayhawks!”

Next thing I recall
I awake, a bit lighter;
My wallet, moreso

Have me in stitches
And it kind of hurts to laugh
The bill stills all mirth

Though I must admit
Everything came out all right
Minor after all

P.S. I made up
The part about the yelling.
The KU part’s true.

And a couple from last night, one before the game, one after:

KU v UK
Championship in palindrome
In the Superdome

Proud of our Jayhawks
And congrats to Kentucky
The wildest cats won