“Before they make me run” haiku

Keith Richards stones me
Still my little rock ‘n’ roll
Guitar, the amps, soul

Keith turns 68
Not quite as old as he looks
But he’s gaining ground

Rock’s reigning duo
Nearly half a century
Keith’s wrinkles, Mick’s lips

Dartford, Kent, birthplace
Of both Glimmer Twins; must be
Something in water

Sang in school trio
As a lad. How well? One time
They gigged for the queen

Rebel kids should know
Working class mum named Doris
Bought Keith’s first guitar

And his grandpa Gus
(Billed “Gus Dupree and His Boys”)
An inspiration

So were folks’ records
Satchmo and Duke Ellington,
Billie Holiday

Scotty Moore and Chuck
Caught Keith’s ear; he developed
His own classic style

No flashy solos
Likes having a guitar mate
“The … art of weaving”

So some overlook
That’s he’s one of the greatest
Chords, rhythm, best riffs

Acoustic guitars
Amped to sound electric, drive
Some of rock’s great songs

Yeah, “Jumpin’ Jack Flash,”
“Street Fighting Man,” guitars
Acoustic all through

Don’t forget he writes
The great songs, too, with Jagger
No end to the hits

Knows he’s channeling
Life’s deeper mysteries, says he’s
“Antenna … not God”

Not his job to sing
But he does that too, I say
He’s got the silver

Earned his bad boy rep
Drug charges used to hound him
All around the world

Once fell out of tree
Cracked his coconut, delayed
A Stones tour six weeks

But he’s cleaned up act
Relatively, anyway
The last few decades

Yeah, today’s also
Wedding anniversary
#28

He’s well read, would like
To be a librarian!
Helps good causes, too

Survivors like him
Often have depth, many sides
A lot going on

Keith — a man in full
It just goes to show you what
Clean living can do

Keith was the last main Stone unturned for me, though I haven’t written about Brian Jones, Mick Taylor, Ron Wood, Ian Stewart and some others. The earlier sets on Mick and the release of “Exile” have plenty to do with Keith, too. You can find them here by plugging “No moss” into the little search slot on the upper right of this page, along with my string on Charlie Watts. And type in “Bill Wyman” if you want to read about him.

Pathetique haiku

Beethoven’s birthday
And what’s the great man up to?
Why, decomposing

How come Beethoven
Seldom could find his teacher?
‘Cause he was Haydn

But seriously,
“Inexhaustible genius”
Defined Beethoven

Say “buh-bup-uh-BUH”
Chances are you heard the start
Of Beethoven’s 5th

Should anyone doubt
Music’s power to move us
Play some Beethoven

Almost anything
Beethoven wrote should stir them
If not, check their pulse

You don’t have to “get”
Classical music — I don’t —
You just have to hear

Soaring symphonies
Tender sonatas, quartets
Spanning all feelings

And he wrote so much
While going deaf, and after.
Can you imagine?

Thought of suicide
Thought better, and persevered
More masterpieces

Conducting the 9th
Couldn’t hear the ovation
He turned, saw — and wept

The human story
Pain, sorrow, inspiration
Spirit triumphant

“As if we needed an excuse” haiku

Devil’s food, pumpkin,
Red velvet or carrot cake
Banana, lemon

Chocolate, vanilla
Coffee and peanut butter
Really can’t go wrong

We’re talking cupcakes
In almost any flavor
A few bites of bliss

Creme inside’s OK
And lay the frosting on thick
For some, that’s the point

Let’s send up a cheer
For National Cupcake Day
Once more with filling!

“Different kind of day” haiku

Born Dec. 13: Ross Macdonald (1915), Dick Van Dyke (1925), Lester Bangs (1948), Tom Verlaine (1949), Taylor Swift (1989)
Also Dec. 13: Al Gore concedes (2000); Saddam Hussein captured (2003)

Feeling weird today?
This 13 is an odd one
Cosmic hits, misses

Al Gore conceded
Half-million vote edge no help
Florida, High Court

Al Gore conceded
Leaving us in the Bushes
We know how that went

Inconvenient truths:
Saddam caught 3 years later
— At terrible cost

Saddam’s opposite
Born this date, in Missouri
Nice guy Dick Van Dyke

In “Bye Bye Birdie”
He found Broadway success, then
His great TV role

“The Dick Van Dyke Show”
This empire’s only misstep?
Rob’s ottoman trip

Great ensemble cast:
Rob, Laura, Buddy, Sally,
Little Richie, Mel

Dick’s chimney sweep, Bert,
Worked wondrous sidewalk magic
For Mary Poppins

Super-cali-frag-
Forget it! That word won’t fit
Any haiku line

Dick Van Dyke lives on
DVD on DVD
Now, and when he’s gone

Live? Or Taylor Swift?
I don’t care, really, because
She writes fine young songs

Singing’s OK, too
She does what she can, KAN-ye
So cut her some slack

Probably not what
Lester Bangs would do for her
Were he still around

Bracing honesty
Marked Lester’s reviews, got him
Fired at least one time

But you always knew
Just where he stood — he’d never
Suck up to stardom

So sad he OD’d
Darvon, Nyquil, Valium
What a weird lights-out

Saved my faves for last:
Masters of noir and guitar,
Mystery and music

Ross Macdonald wrote
Great American novels
Disguised as mysteries

Macdonald’s stories
Plumbed family dissolution,
Alienation

Main man Lew Archer
Always got to painful truth
Cracked the case, his heart

LA’s facade, too,
Stripped away, reality
Beneath the glitter

Ross Macdonald tales
Equal Chandler, Hammett
As good as it gets

As good as it gets
Tom Verlaine on the guitar
Mystery, too, no star

Band Television
Rocked the CBGB scene
In the punk heyday

“Marquee Moon,” “Blow-Up”
“See No Evil,” “Friction,” “Days”
Fluid, powerful

His solo career
Even more nuanced, speed freaks
Won’t find much to like

But exploration
Of effects, textures and tones
Gets me — and it rocks

Unusual voice,
Words playful, elliptical
Complete the package

Happy birthday, Tom
You fit in nicely on this
Different kind of day

“Incredibly tiny chip off the old block” haiku

Robert Noyce, Dec. 12, 1927 – June 3, 1990

You can Google him:
Robert Noyce, the “mayor” of
Silicon Valley

Always tinkering
As a kid he built aircraft
Motorized his sled

Called Rapid Robert
For the way he sped through schools
Grinnell, MIT

Philco and Shockley
Couldn’t hold him long; soon he
Co-founded Fairchild

Then helped found Intel
Genius trio: Gordon Moore,
Andy Grove and Noyce

Inventor’s vision
Was just too big for this world
So he thought smaller

He and Jack Kilby
Credited with inventing
The first microchip

Noyce also fostered
Others’ creativity
Throughout the valley

His parting message:
High-tech education key
To U.S. success

Said that meant teaching
“The lowest and poorest,” too.
Are we listening?

Tom Waits, Rock Hall inductees

“One of a Kind”

Tom Waits, born Dec. 7, 1949

Gargling razor blades
This a.m. reminded me —
Happy birthday, Tom!

“This year’s models”

Congrats to them all
Especially Laura, the muse
Next? Warren Zevon!

Royal and loyal birthday haiku

Joe “King” Carrasco, who’s still holding court in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, at his restaurant Nacho Daddy, used to put on the finest Tex-Mex trash rock shows in Kansas City (and just about everywhere else).

Happy birthday Joe
So glad you’re still rockin’ it
South of the border

A JKC show
In KC town was always
An amazing thing

First set: Joe and band
As excited as if it’s
Their first gig ever

Second set: All out
Playing as if it could be
Their last gig ever

Nuevo Wavo
Can’t get mas caliente
That’s why Joe’s still King

Little haiku

Rock was born this date
Breathlessly spin spin spin spinnin’
Like a spinnin’ top

Rock ‘n’ roll starts here:
Little Richard’s piano,
Chuck Berry’s guitar

Pumpin’ piano,
Wild moves, wild voice, wild makeup
He did that stuff first

Shocked and angered some
When his shows brought together
Young folks black and white

And sex? Oh my yes
“Tutti frutti, good booty”
First lyrics were changed

Then he told us what
Miss Molly sure liked to do
Good golly, indeed

Elvis, Jerry Lee
Prince, Michael Jackson all got
A lot from Little

And Jimi Hendrix
Spent some time in Richard’s band
Working on his chops

Like lightning striking
— But for two solid minutes
Instead of a flash

Birthday girls haiku

Dec. 1 birthday girls, Bette Midler, Julee Cruise. How’d they end up on the same day?

Brass, wit, so much heart
Over the top, no middling
For Bette Midler

Into the night, there’s
Nothing quite so hypnotic
As Julee cruising