“That’s a big 1040, good buddy” haiku

For those of you just wrapping up (or getting started). Written last year.

Income tax, oh joy
I don’t mind paying my share;
Paperwork, I hate

Income tax, oh joy
What form does Charlie Sheen use?
1040 Slea-Z?

Income tax, no fair
Jim Beam’s allowed to write off
His liquid assets

Income tax, oh joy
April 15th’s the 17th
This year. Is that clear?

Income tax, oh yeah,
This year we get two more days
To stew over it

Income tax, get this
My brilliant deductions would
Impress Sherlock Holmes

Income tax, say what?
You sure I can’t count my dog
As a dependent?

Income tax, oh joy
Even my new computer
Despises this stuff

Income tax, no fair
Donald Trump gets to deduct
That thing on his head

Tax time, go figure
Trump’s wives are good examples
Filling out their forms

Income tax, oh joy
Why do I think there must be
An easier way?

Income tax, oh joy
Just total up your earnings,
Mail ’em to D.C.

Income tax, oh joy
My accountant’s not too bright:
H&R Blockhead

Income tax, oh joy
Loopholes somehow turn into
Noose around my neck

Income tax, oh joy
With help from the IRS
Hey, stop that laughing

Income tax, devised
By the best politicians
That money can buy

Blustery day haiku, redux

Reminiscent of our weather yesterday and today, from April 4

Around here lately
Every day has been winds-day
Isn’t that right, Pooh?

It’s not just bluster
That destroyed the owl’s house
And has wrecked mine, too

How windy is it?
My breezeway just blew away
Roof’s not far behind

How windy is it?
Hammer blew away trying
To nail my stuff down

How windy is it?
They’re lashing kids to street signs
At the bus stop

How windy is it?
Forget leaves; entire trees
Are blowing away

How windy is it?
The wig shop is offering
Free Gorilla Glue

How windy is it?
I don’t even have to dance
To make my tie fly

How windy is it?
Like talk radio bombast:
Blustery and wild

Wild like a toddler
With his diaper off — Oh no!
There goes the diaper

What else just blew by?
Was that a small animal?
Or Donald Trump’s hair?

Windy? It’s a first
Across the great Kansas plains
Windmills overheat

Tumbleweeds tumble
Faster than the Roadrunner
In this kind of gale

Dylan, Hendrix sing,
“And the wind began to howl”
Pee-wee says, “Well, duh”

The answer, my friend,
Blew down the street yesterday
And is long gone now