Gangs of roving youth
Terrorize shoppers at Mall
Of America
But what better place
For mega food fight than Mall
Of America?
Pad Thai, burritos
Pasta, meatballs, pot stickers
Cheeseburgers all trashed
Dozens of kids throw
Melting pot of ethnic fare
Cops say for no cause
How about they judged
All that Food Court “food” guilty
Of fraud, price gouging?
In touch with inner
John Belushi, meted out
Justice with chaos
Juvy detention
Or coronary arrest?
Not a tasty choice
A few of these appeared first as part of an alphabetical string by the Facebook group Bad Haiku, of which I am a proud (?!) member. I felt challenged (Yeah, he’s challenged all right …) to do a series of my own, for which no one else would have to share the blame. These originally escaped in two batches, Aug.23 and 24.
Anything Aztecs
Achieved animatedly
Augmented action
Blake's behemoth
Crude, crass carnivore
Creeps, canters, cavorts, crashes,
Consumes carnally
Debauched demimonde
Deliciously declaiming
Decadent design
Effusive Edgar
Exceeding expectations
Exuberantly
Freaking fast Frederick
Filched filigreed finial
From Fannie’s fiefdom
Gregarious Greg
Gratefully going gaga,
Gorgeously gonzo
Hack’s hackneyed haiku
Hitting horrifying heights,
Haunting headhunters
Iphigenia’s
Ignominious igloo
Incited Iceland
Judicious Jutland’s
Justified jeremiad
Jolts jaded jackass
Kinetic karma:
Kamikaze Kangaroo
Kicks karate kin
Lass, laughter lilting,
Lightheartedly limning lines,
Lightens lover’s load
Monsanto musings:
Mystical mutant mustard?
Manifold mystique!
Native nasturtiums
Octopus orders
Oriental opposite
Occidentally
Pampered pet pooches,
Plump, primped, partake plentiful
Porterhouse platter
Questioning quisling’s
Questionable qualities
Quite queasy quandary
Recumbent redhead
Risks rapidly receding
Reclines recklessly
Sibilant siblings
Steve, Sara, Sasha, Sonia
Sounding simply swell
Tall tales titillate
Tantalize, taunt temptingly
True trash to treasure
Unassumingly
Undulating undertow,
Unfathomable
Venerable van
Vaunted versatility
Valued vehicle
Which witch witchingly
Watches wastrels waste whiskey,
Wishing wistfully
Xerxes, Xenophon
X-ray Xeroxed xylographs
Xenophilicly
Yesteryear’s yearnings
Yellowing yearbooks yonder
Yoke your yesterdays
Zero, zenith, zilch
Ziggy zigzags zealously
Zooming zanily
And from the Squad Squad and the Department of Redundancy Department, one that was censored from the original batch:
Unabashedly
Undulating underwear
Unconscionable!
Noel Redding, bass man
With Hendrix, born this date, but
How’d he get that name?
Whatever your faith
Each child born’s a miracle
Sacred and human
Feed them and love them
Keep them safe and warm that they
May learn, grow, love too
Christ said what we do
To the poorest among us
We do to the Lord
See in each other
Redemption and salvation
Existence divine
I say that’s the Christ
I hope to keep in Christmas
This day, and all year
Eddie Vedder, Dec. 23, 1964
Vortex voice, quaver
Of vulnerability
Irresistible
Office party time
As if you don’t see enough
Of your co-workers
The Mistletoe Zone
Heaven or hell depending
On who’s there with you
Guess X marks the mass
Of folks sucking down free booze,
Costco canapes
And punch, our favorite
If you’re asking what we’d like
To do to the boss
Gee, I didn’t know
She could dance like THAT, didn’t
Know anyone could
And I thought tables
Were for setting our drinks on
I’d say she showed me
At least I know how
To hold my liquor — upraised,
Pinkie extended
Thank God the DJ’s
Really horrendous, or else
We’d be here all night
Office party time
At least once a year our firm’s
A well-oiled machine
Keith Richards stones me
Still my little rock ‘n’ roll
Guitar, the amps, soul
Keith turns 68
Not quite as old as he looks
But he’s gaining ground
Rock’s reigning duo
Nearly half a century
Keith’s wrinkles, Mick’s lips
Dartford, Kent, birthplace
Of both Glimmer Twins; must be
Something in water
Sang in school trio
As a lad. How well? One time
They gigged for the queen
Rebel kids should know
Working class mum named Doris
Bought Keith’s first guitar
And his grandpa Gus
(Billed “Gus Dupree and His Boys”)
An inspiration
So were folks’ records
Satchmo and Duke Ellington,
Billie Holiday
Scotty Moore and Chuck
Caught Keith’s ear; he developed
His own classic style
No flashy solos
Likes having a guitar mate
“The … art of weaving”
So some overlook
That’s he’s one of the greatest
Chords, rhythm, best riffs
Acoustic guitars
Amped to sound electric, drive
Some of rock’s great songs
Yeah, “Jumpin’ Jack Flash,”
“Street Fighting Man,” guitars
Acoustic all through
Don’t forget he writes
The great songs, too, with Jagger
No end to the hits
Knows he’s channeling
Life’s deeper mysteries, says he’s
“Antenna … not God”
Not his job to sing
But he does that too, I say
He’s got the silver
Earned his bad boy rep
Drug charges used to hound him
All around the world
Once fell out of tree
Cracked his coconut, delayed
A Stones tour six weeks
But he’s cleaned up act
Relatively, anyway
The last few decades
Yeah, today’s also
Wedding anniversary
#28
He’s well read, would like
To be a librarian!
Helps good causes, too
Survivors like him
Often have depth, many sides
A lot going on
Keith — a man in full
It just goes to show you what
Clean living can do
Keith was the last main Stone unturned for me, though I haven’t written about Brian Jones, Mick Taylor, Ron Wood, Ian Stewart and some others. The earlier sets on Mick and the release of “Exile” have plenty to do with Keith, too. You can find them here by plugging “No moss” into the little search slot on the upper right of this page, along with my string on Charlie Watts. And type in “Bill Wyman” if you want to read about him.
Beethoven’s birthday
And what’s the great man up to?
Why, decomposing
How come Beethoven
Seldom could find his teacher?
‘Cause he was Haydn
But seriously,
“Inexhaustible genius”
Defined Beethoven
Say “buh-bup-uh-BUH”
Chances are you heard the start
Of Beethoven’s 5th
Should anyone doubt
Music’s power to move us
Play some Beethoven
Almost anything
Beethoven wrote should stir them
If not, check their pulse
You don’t have to “get”
Classical music — I don’t —
You just have to hear
Soaring symphonies
Tender sonatas, quartets
Spanning all feelings
And he wrote so much
While going deaf, and after.
Can you imagine?
Thought of suicide
Thought better, and persevered
More masterpieces
Conducting the 9th
Couldn’t hear the ovation
He turned, saw — and wept
The human story
Pain, sorrow, inspiration
Spirit triumphant
Devil’s food, pumpkin,
Red velvet or carrot cake
Banana, lemon
Chocolate, vanilla
Coffee and peanut butter
Really can’t go wrong
We’re talking cupcakes
In almost any flavor
A few bites of bliss
Creme inside’s OK
And lay the frosting on thick
For some, that’s the point
Let’s send up a cheer
For National Cupcake Day
Once more with filling!
The old man’s profile
Black marble, jutting white hook
Eagle eye — and beak
The old man’s profile
Darkness, even in full sun
All crags and shadow
The old man’s profile
Stone silent, fixed in sorrow
Gazing toward the end
And if that ending bums you out too much, here’s proof a word or two can make a difference.
The old man’s profile
Stone silent, fixed in wisdom
Gazing toward the end
or
The old man’s profile
Stony silence, dignified
Gazing toward the end
Greg's Hack-u 